A Child Lost
It’s not like the movies. There are no epiphanies, no revelations,
no righting of past wrongs… or at least, not always. No one can
tell you when to get out, cut your losses and save yourself. And
no one can prepare you for the aftermath-- The sleepless nights,
the headaches, the dozen moments you have to pull yourself
together to keep from crying… in one hour.
Nothing in the world can prepare you for the journey back--
when it’s easier to give up and the endless possibilities of how to
make that happen begin to flood your head. When living becomes
so much more difficult than the alternative. And nothing can
prepare you for the past relived. The moments that come
rushing back at the slightest remembrance.
My name is Lacy Lynnette. I am the daughter of an alcoholic.
And this is my story.
My mother didn't start drinking until I was 16 years old, so
when it started, I had no way of truly knowing the darkness
that would follow. Even during her rapid spiral, I spent weeks,
months, and eventually years, believing that things would get
better. It's why I stayed.. for seven years.
Until one day I woke up. I was 22 years old. My arm was
bruised, a lamp lay on the floor broken and I felt as though my
entire life lay on the floor there with it. I'd been sick for months
and I was going to work.. to pay to keep all of the lies going. I
was tired, more tired than I'd ever been in my life and I knew--
something had to change. And I took my life back.
The path to recovery is very long. There are no magic words or
books to read. Some might make you feel better but at the end
of the day, it comes down to you and the people that you
discover around you. My healing couldn't truly begin until I
stopped and just.. let someone in.
And we have to expect maybe a little less from ourselves. It is all
a part of the journey of who we are to become.
"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It
is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The
treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured
life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured,
then we will not produce the pearl."
"Although the world is full of suffering, it's also full of the
(c) Lacy Malady 2008